Sunday, July 27, 2014

About Me






Meditation saved my life.
I found it about 13 years ago.
At that time I was suffering from anxiety that was leading to panic attacks, a familiar cycle that I had been enduring since childhood.  
Having grown up with parents in active drug and alcohol addiction, I had become REALLY GOOD at suppressing my emotions.  
I learned how to caretake and essentially prioritize other peoples feelings over my own.
I was terrified of disappointing people, so I got really good at not doing it.
I either performed REALLY REALLY WELL or I HID by blending in so you wouldn’t notice me.
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Underneath all of this was a chronic sense of angst.  Sometimes it would bubble over into panic and terror, especially if major shifts were occurring in my life.
Then I had a crisis in my mid 20’s.  
I had graduated from college and had failed miserably at a job in my “field.”  I broke off an engagement because I was terrified of the commitment for reasons that weren’t very clear to me at the time.  I was finishing my 3rd year in an office job that I took “temporarily” after my first post college fiasco. 
I was chronically disconnected from myself, though I didn’t know it.
What I did notice was a growing sense of anxiety and an aching void. My panic attacks were coming back and I was TERRIFIED. 
I needed to DO SOMETHING TO FIND MYSELF, I just didn’t know what.
There were yoga classes being offered at my local gym so I started taking them, and I liked the bit of calm I felt after, so I kept going.  
Not long after I discovered a meditation.
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I had heard that meditation could help with calming my mind.   It was the hardest thing I ever did…
Sitting still doing nothing for 20 minutes.  I thought I would run out the door screaming.
But rather than screaming, I followed another voice.  One that said,
Hey, I WANT to be able to tolerate myself.  I WANT to be able to enjoy my life and if I can’t sit still with myself HOW AM I EVER GOING TO DO THAT?
I began sitting meditation at home because the practice, though it was challenging, was helping me.  
I was beginning to peel myself away from the nightmare of thoughts that would pull me into a panic attack.  But I knew I couldn’t do it alone.  
I was coming up against emotions and memories that I didn’t know what to do with. 
I needed someone who had traveled the path and had learned to integrate the insights that were arising within me.
I didn’t know then what I know now….
wounding that occurs in relationship has to be healed in relationship.
It was with so many blessings that I found one of my teachers, Dr. Andrew Shugyo Bonnici
I continue to work closely with Dr. Andrew Shugyo Bonnici, founder of the Applied Meditation Institute, and have been certified as an Applied Meditation Therapist.  Under his guidance I have led meditation groups for the patients of Dr. Aleksandra Wirga for the last 6 years.
I am also a Certified Yoga Teacher having completed the Cloud Nine Yoga School RYT training program.  I specialize in Yin Yoga, a meditative practice informed by meridian theory designed to heal the subtle energy body.
Today I work with people on a personal growth path who struggle with limiting beliefs and negative emotions.
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Working with me, people learn to decode their inner wisdom to unlock their true brilliance and live their most authentic, self expressed life.
Private work with me is only for those who are serious about lasting transformation.  It is preferable that you have done some work on yourself already, either through traditional talk therapy or a consistent yoga/meditation practice, or both.
I offer complimentary consultation sessions so that we can see if working together would be a good fit.    
To schedule a session, simply email me at carinanickerson@gmail.com.  We will set up a time that works best for you.

Sending much love and many blessings,
Carina

 
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